Denise: What's that?
Stuart: You can see it?
Denise: Yeah, I can see it. What is it?
Stuart: You ever wonder whether any of this is real?
Denise: What are you talking about?
Stuart: Doesn't bother you that everything seems perfect?
Denise: No. This is the life we dreamed of.
Stuart: Exactly! When have my dreams ever come true?
Denise: Stuart, you're scaring me.
Stuart: You think you're scared now? You might wanna tighten your sphincter.

Stuart: Uh... no hurt. Peaceful.
Denise: We come from far. We good.
Man: What do you think?
Woman: I don't know. They sound stupid.

Kripke: What you got there, neighbow?
Stuart: Uh, nothing, nothing.
Kripke: Doesn't wook wike nothing.
Stuart: Mind your own damn business, Barry! [door shuts]
Kripke: That was vewy wude.

Stuart: Think you'll be letting Bert out anytime soon?
Amy Farrah Fowler: We don't have a patient named Bert.
Stuart: Of course not. I was just testing you. You passed! I'm gonna go now.

Stuart: Who builds a hallway like this?

Stuart: There's something wrong with the door.
[Inside the room, a man plays an accordion and sings "Hello! Ma Baby"]

Bert: Stuart.
Stuart: How'd you get out?
Bert: I didn't. You're very high.
[As Stuart looks back into the room, he sees Porky Pig and the Looney Tunes jingle plays]
Porky Pig: [stammers] That's all folks!

Orderly #1: Hey. How'd you get out here?
Stuart: Oh. [grunts] No! No, you don't understand! I can't stay here!
Bert: None of this is real.
Stuart: I can't stay in this universe!
Bert: None of this is real.
Stuart: [shouting] What's not real?

Stuart: [with puppets] Mom? Dad? There's something I need to get off my chest. [high-pitched] "What is it, honey?" [normally] "Just listen." "And that's why I felt invisible." "No, Dad, you're talking out of turn!"

Stuart: You have a son named Stuart."
Amy Farrah Fowler: And here's Stuart.
Stuart: "Oh, my goodness! He's come home."

Denise: We just have to make one little stop.
Stuart: For what?
Denise: Oh, you'll see.
Stuart: [chuckles] Big Daddy loves surprises. [both chuckle]
Denise: Oh, yeah.

Stuart: M'kay! Who's ready for a hot dog?
Jaden: I am!
Talia: Me! Me!
Denise: Fresh-squeezed lemonade.
Talia & Jaden: Yay!
Denise: How you doing?
Stuart: Great. I can't believe I thought there was a better universe than this one right here.

Denise: How was your walk?
Stuart: Good.
Denise: What you got there?
Stuart: Uh... bought a comic book.
Denise: Hmm. Since when do you read comic books?
Stuart: People read comic books. [yells] What is with you? [grunts softly] Sorry. That was too loud.

Bert: Guys, this is The Matrix.
Stuart: Yeah, we know.
Bert: No, it's literally a scene from the movie. [electricity crackling]
Stuart: You're right. We're still trapped.
Kripke: Are you sure? It wooks wike we escaped.
Stuart: That's what they want us to think.
Denise: Who is "they"?
Stuart: I don't know. [notices a tear in the fabric of reality] Hang on.