Stuart: [sighs] Oh, boy.
Kripke: Not good.
Bert: Now, try having an argument.
Kripke: What are you talking about? That's gotta be the stupidest-
[Kripke tightens up again and cries out in agony. He tries pointing to the device in the back of his neck but is soon overcome with pain and drops to the floor.

Soldier #1: All kneel... for the Grand Caliph of South Pasadena, Flintridge, and Monrovia! The Supreme Ruler of the San Gabriel Valley!
Denise: I'm not kneeling for anybody!
[The guard fires a warning shot in the air. Denise gasps and they all kneel down.]
Denise: Okay, yeah. Mm-hmm.
Kripke: Hello, pwisoners.
Stuart: Kripke?
Soldier #1: Ward Kripke.
Kripke: Not Ward. "Word."
Soldier #1: What... What'd I say?
Kripke: You said "Ward," and...

Stuart: I can't believe I lost the love of my life and I get you.
Bert: Let's not forget, he killed Raj.
Kripke: [chuckles] Well, now, there are two possibilities. One, the world we were just in no wonger exists, in which case I did not "kill Waj." Two, that world and this world are part of an infinite number of worlds, in which case I killed one of an infinite number of Wajs. Mathematicawy, a wounding error.

Denise: But this world is a living nightmare. Don't you wanna put things right?
Kripke: Were you not wistening? I... I got all the girls. [chuckles] By the way, uh... uh, are you...you seeing anyone or...?
Stuart: She's with me.
Denise: No, I'm not.
Stuart: [in singsong] I... I'm trying to protect you.
Bert: Hmm.
Kripke: Take the wench, wash her, bring her to my woom.
Denise: [scoffs] I'd rather die!
Kripke: I understand. Wash her and kill her.

Stuart: I can't believe I lost the love of my life and I get you.
Bert: Let's not forget, he killed Raj.
Kripke: [chuckles] Well, now, there are two possibilities. One, the world we were just in no wonger exists, in which case I did not "kill Waj." Two, that world and this world are part of an infinite number of worlds, in which case I killed one of an infinite number of Wajs. Mathematicawy, a wounding error.

Kripke: Gentlemen, we are in hell.
Bert: Really? Everyone's being so nice to each other.
Mailman: Hi!
Stuart: Yeah, they have devices implanted in their necks to make them nice.
Bert: Would you rather push the button on the Sheldon/Leonard thingy and try another universe?
Kripke: No, thanks. We could wind up somewhere worse.
Bert: Like where humans are a meat source for a highly evolved wizard people?
Kripke: Yeah, like that.
Bert: Or one where everyone's French, but no one speaks French.

Kripke: Anyway, the device has torn the fabwic of weality, possibly causing the universe to cowapse and then weegwo.
Ramona Nowitzki: "Weegwo"?
Kripke: Yeah, weegwo.
Ramona Nowitzki: What is "weegwo"?
Kripke: Weegwo. Uh, uh, like a plant weegwos.
Ramona Nowitzki: Weegwo?
Kripke: Wee-gwo.
Ramona Nowitzki: "Weegwo"?
Kripke: Weegwo. You stupid, stupid-
[Kripke groans as he's zapped again. He tries to stay upright by leaning on the counter but is eventually overcome and drops to the floor.]
Bert: He has trouble with the letter "R."
Ramona Nowitzki: Oh! "Regrow." [chuckles] That makes more sense.