Trevor: Um, are you crazy? [scoffs] Hawkeye doesn't deserve to be an Avenger. Yeah...
Kyle: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You do not want to go there.
Trevor: You got a guy with a bow and arrow, and he's supposed to be on the same team as a guy with an arc reactor iron suit and the literal God of Thunder? [laughs] What sense does that even make?
Kyle: I don't know, I mean... [grunts] does this make sense?
[Kyle pulls out an arrow from his quiver and repeatedly stabs Trevor in the neck. Trevor screams and falls to the floor.]
Stuart: I just mopped! We talked about this, Kyle! That's strike three!
Kyle: I'm sorry, okay? Uh, but you heard him. [Stuart points to the door] Sorry. He started it.

Kyle: Oh, excuse me. I was about to buy that Necronomicon.
Trevor: [scoffs] Get over yourself. You can't handle this level of magic. Uh... here. Alchemy for Dummies. That's more your speed.
Kyle: [scoffs] I'll show you my speed. Sempe faldinide un pera!
[As Kyle waves his wand, a snake emerges from Trevor's mouth and wraps itself around his body]
Denise: Oh, my God. What happened? Where are we?
Trevor: Make it stop! [serpent hisses] Please!
Stuart: Uh... Hang on. Kyle?
Kyle: [chuckles] I wasn't really gonna kill him.
Stuart: Stop!
Kyle: [sighs] Fine. [snake hisses] Dnim reven.

Trevor: You're such an asshole.
Kyle: You want an asshole? I'll show you an asshole. Elohssa. [waves wand]
Stuart: Kyle!

Stuart: So, what have you been up to?
Denise: Robbing mostly. Still working on my screenplay.
Stuart: Oh, good for you.

Denise: Funny story, actually, uh, Gary was seeing my friend Lisa.
Gary: Oh, nice girl. Yeah, Jewish.
Denise: Yeah, and anyway, Lisa got eaten by cannibals in Sherman Oaks.
Stuart: Oh, no.
Denise: Mm-hmm.
Bert: Human meat isn't kosher, but I guess that only matters if the cannibals are also Jewish.

Bert: Shall we?
Stuart: [sighs] Mm, I don't know. I'm having second thoughts.
Bert: What are you talking about? We've been given a quest.
Stuart: Yeah, but, uh, do we believe that guy?
Bert: That guy was you.
Stuart: That's my point. When did we start listening to me?