Raj Koothrappali: Can you keep it down?
Stuart: Raj?
Raj Koothrappali: Maybe. Possibly. Who wants to know?
Stuart: Raj, it's me, Stuart, from the comic book store.
Raj Koothrappali: Stuart?
Stuart: Yes, and... and Bert Kibbler. You know Bert?
Raj Koothrappali: Bert?
Stuart: And Denise. Remember Denise?
Raj Koothrappali: [chuckles deliriously] This isn't real. [stammers] This is... this is a hallucination!
Stuart: No. No, no, no. We're here. It's real.
Bert: That's kind of what a hallucination would say. [Stuart looks at Bert to suggest "Why would you say that?"]

Stuart: What are you doing here?
Raj Koothrappali: Isn't it obvious? I'm in a locked room. I haven't changed my underwear in years, and I crap in a bucket!
Bert: So, you're like a prisoner?
Raj Koothrappali: I rode an elephant to my wedding and now I crap in a bucket!
Bert: Congratulations. Uh, on the wedding thing.
Raj Koothrappali: Yeah, a moth ate her.

Raj Koothrappali: Everybody, listen to me! The universe is collapsing. We're running out of time! We must take action before it's too late. No one is safe. Ignore me all you want, but it's coming for you! The end times are near, people!
Denise: Look, it's Raj.
Stuart: Oh, he's not dead here. That's nice.
Raj Koothrappali: Oh, you think you can go on? Living your little lives in your little houses? It's coming for you! It's coming for all of you!

Bert: Stuart, please come back.
Raj Koothrappali: Oh, move towards the light!
Stuart: No.

Bert: Shall we?
Stuart: [sighs] Mm, I don't know. I'm having second thoughts.
Bert: What are you talking about? We've been given a quest.
Stuart: Yeah, but, uh, do we believe that guy?
Bert: That guy was you.
Stuart: That's my point. When did we start listening to me?

Denise: What's your plan?
Stuart: No, I don't really have one. I'm kind of new to the action genre.

Stuart: So, what have you been up to?
Denise: Robbing mostly. Still working on my screenplay.
Stuart: Oh, good for you.