Chana: Would you like to come back to our village?
Simpa: We have food and places to rest.
Chana: Water to bathe in, companions to sleep with.
Kripke: Hang on. Question. [with rhotacism] When you say "sweep with," do you mean sex?
Chana: Of course.
Kripke: Daddy's home.

Kripke: Uh, check it out. Your wittle trip to the nuthouse.

Stuart: Now, the instructions that came with the device are a message from whoever's trying to help me.
Kripke: [thinking] Wook at me, PhD from Stanford, and I'm taking orders from a guy who wuns a comic book store.
Stuart: You wanna be in charge, Kripke?
Kripke: [out loud] No, you're doing fine. [thinking] I'll just wait for you to fail, then make fun of you.
Stuart: Thank you. [Kripke nods his head]

Denise: What kind of universe is this?
Kripke: I don't think we made it to another universe. I think we're stuck between universes.
Denise: What exists between universes?
Kripke: Best guess? Sort of an interdimensional taint? Think of it like being stuck between the balls of one universe and the asshole of another.
Denise: You're disgusting!

Kripke: So, for example, I have cwaimed this bowl because I don't want your germs, which means this bowl is mine. My bowl.
Manu: All the bowls are the same. How do we know?
Kripke: Ah, good question. Wook here on the bottom. I have put my mark. Now, I know you're all charmingwy iwiterate but this is a wetter, the wetter "K," as in "keep your hands off Kwipke's bowl." [Alta raises her hand] Yeah?
Alta: Isn't it better if we all share everything?
Kripke: Maybe if you're a pinko communist... [chuckling] ...but I don't have to tell you how that worked out.
Alta: How did that work out?
Kripke: [hesitates] This is my bowl, don't touch my bowl.

Stuart: Better question, are we finally in a normal universe?
Kripke: Eh, sure looks like it.
[Denise leans forward and takes a bite out of a green plant]
Denise: [chewing] Seems normal to me.

Stuart: Hey, is it weird that a primitive tribe with no contact with the outside world, no technology, speaks English?
Denise: Maybe we're speaking their language.
Stuart: Well, if that's the case, how can I say the word "helicopter"? They obviously don't have helicopters.
Denise: We say "unicorn," but we don't have unicorns.
Stuart: I don't want to talk about this anymore.