Simpa: Tell me about monogamous.
Kripke: [groans] That's a wittle complicated. Um... Ah! Let's say you're fishing on a wake, and after a very wong time, you finally catch a small blue fish. You take it home, you cook it, you eat it. It's dewicious. So you decide you're only gonna eat that same stupid fish for the west of your wife, even if another fish gives you her phone number.
Simpa: What if you want to be with someone, but they're doing monogamous with someone else?
Kripke: Been there. Three choices. You can get over her, twicky without porn. You can convince her to cheat on the other guy, but for that, you weawy need a car with tinted windows. And finawy, you figure out a way to get wid of the other guy.
Simpa: Like send him on a journey?
Kripke: Yeah, or maybe he, uh, falls off a cwiff. Happens.

Kripke: Uh, check it out. Your wittle trip to the nuthouse.

Stuart: Now, the instructions that came with the device are a message from whoever's trying to help me.
Kripke: [thinking] Wook at me, PhD from Stanford, and I'm taking orders from a guy who wuns a comic book store.
Stuart: You wanna be in charge, Kripke?
Kripke: [out loud] No, you're doing fine. [thinking] I'll just wait for you to fail, then make fun of you.
Stuart: Thank you. [Kripke nods his head]

Denise: What kind of universe is this?
Kripke: I don't think we made it to another universe. I think we're stuck between universes.
Denise: What exists between universes?
Kripke: Best guess? Sort of an interdimensional taint? Think of it like being stuck between the balls of one universe and the asshole of another.
Denise: You're disgusting!

Denise: It's so beautiful here. Peaceful.
Stuart: Glad you like it, 'cause we ain't going anywhere.
Denise: You couldn't fix the machine?
Stuart: Me? Fix it? No. I come from a long line of people who call a guy.

Stuart: Better question, are we finally in a normal universe?
Kripke: Eh, sure looks like it.
[Denise leans forward and takes a bite out of a green plant]
Denise: [chewing] Seems normal to me.

Kripke: So, for example, I have cwaimed this bowl because I don't want your germs, which means this bowl is mine. My bowl.
Manu: All the bowls are the same. How do we know?
Kripke: Ah, good question. Wook here on the bottom. I have put my mark. Now, I know you're all charmingwy iwiterate but this is a wetter, the wetter "K," as in "keep your hands off Kwipke's bowl." [Alta raises her hand] Yeah?
Alta: Isn't it better if we all share everything?
Kripke: Maybe if you're a pinko communist... [chuckling] ...but I don't have to tell you how that worked out.
Alta: How did that work out?
Kripke: [hesitates] This is my bowl, don't touch my bowl.