Denise: [thinking] ...damn spot. Lady Macbeth. Lady and the Tramp. Ladies and gentlemen, I am trying not to fart.

Stuart: So, what have you been up to?
Denise: Robbing mostly. Still working on my screenplay.
Stuart: Oh, good for you.

Stuart: Hey, is it weird that a primitive tribe with no contact with the outside world, no technology, speaks English?
Denise: Maybe we're speaking their language.
Stuart: Well, if that's the case, how can I say the word "helicopter"? They obviously don't have helicopters.
Denise: We say "unicorn," but we don't have unicorns.
Stuart: I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Stuart: Better question, are we finally in a normal universe?
Kripke: Eh, sure looks like it.
[Denise leans forward and takes a bite out of a green plant]
Denise: [chewing] Seems normal to me.

Bert: [thinking] Weird that Kripke's thoughts have a speech impediment.

Stuart: Now, the instructions that came with the device are a message from whoever's trying to help me.
Kripke: [thinking] Wook at me, PhD from Stanford, and I'm taking orders from a guy who wuns a comic book store.
Stuart: You wanna be in charge, Kripke?
Kripke: [out loud] No, you're doing fine. [thinking] I'll just wait for you to fail, then make fun of you.
Stuart: Thank you. [Kripke nods his head]

Ramona Nowitzki: I don't have a Howard Wolowitz.
Stuart: Are you sure?
Ramona Nowitzki: I'll check again. [keyboard keys clacking] [thinking] I'm not really checking again. Just trying to be polite.
Stuart: Huh.
Ramona Nowitzki: [out loud] Nope. No Howard Wolowitz.
Stuart: Could you give us a minute?
Ramona Nowitzki: No problem. I'll be here. [thinking] Until I drop dead because I married a drummer, and this is the only way we have health insurance.