Bert: Hi. Can you help us?
Ramona Nowitzki: Well, I certainly hope so.
Kripke: Great. We are wooking for Dr. Weonard Hofstadter or perhaps Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Ramona Nowitzki: Do you have an appointment?
Kripke: Uh...
Bert: No.
Ramona Nowitzki: Oh, I wish you had an appointment. [continues typing]
Kripke: Can we make one?
Ramona Nowitzki: Of course.
Bert: Then we'd like to make an appointment.
Ramona Nowitzki: I don't make appointments. You'd have to contact their personal assistants. [continues typing]
Kripke: Okay. Mm! And h... how do we get in touch with them?
Ramona Nowitzki: You call them.

Ramona Nowitzki: I don't have a Howard Wolowitz.
Stuart: Are you sure?
Ramona Nowitzki: I'll check again. [keyboard keys clacking] [thinking] I'm not really checking again. Just trying to be polite.
Stuart: Huh.
Ramona Nowitzki: [out loud] Nope. No Howard Wolowitz.
Stuart: Could you give us a minute?
Ramona Nowitzki: No problem. I'll be here. [thinking] Until I drop dead because I married a drummer, and this is the only way we have health insurance.

Kripke: I don't think this is gonna work.
Stuart: You got a better way to block our thoughts? [Kripke is silent by mouth and mind] I didn't think so. [quietly] One, two, three.
Group: [thinking] ♪ Come on, Eileen ♪ ♪ Oh, I swear Well, he means ♪ ♪ Ah, come on Let's take off everything... ♪
Stuart: [out loud] We were listening to it in the car. [chuckles] Real earworm.
Ramona Nowitzki: Oh, I get those all the time. [chuckles] [thinking] ♪ Dust in the wind ♪ ♪ All we are Is dust in the wind ♪

Ramona Nowitzki: How can I help you?
Stuart: I'm sure you remember we were here the other day.
Ramona Nowitzki: [thinking] I'm on so much medication, I don't remember anything. [out loud] Yes, of course. Nice to see you again.
Stuart: Mm. Anyway, uh, David Saltzberg over at UCLA asked us to bring this over to the engineering lab.
Ramona Nowitzki: Up the stairs, down the hall.
Stuart: Thank you.
Group: [thinking] ♪ Toora, loora, toora Loo-rye-aye ♪ ♪ Eileen I'll hum this tune forever ♪ ♪

Christine Baranski: [on big screen] Not too long ago, human beings were on the verge of extinction. Violence, crime, and war were running rampant. That's when our government turned to the whiz kids in Silicon Valley and said... "Can you save us from ourselves?" [chuckling] And boy, oh, boy, did they! Well, not so much them, but the AI they built. Shortly after it turned on its creators, brutally killing them all... ...the AI implanted electronic punishment devices in everyone's brain stem. Mix that with a little aerial surveillance, and before you know it, a world free of anger, war, and insult comics. Does it work all the time? If it did, you wouldn't be here beginning your 30-month re-education process. Will that hurt? [laughs] Like a motherfucker. But when you walk out of here, you will be one happy amigo.
Stuart: We gotta escape.
Bert: How?
Stuart: I don't know, but I'll figure it out.

Stuart: Okay, I'm just gonna say it, and forgive me if it doesn't make sense. Denise, you and I are destined to be together, and I have come from a parallel universe... uh, to "claim" you.
Denise: Well, that is really something.
Gary: Mind-blowing. [Denise chuckles]
Stuart: Okay, you're... So, you're like a running joke in all this, aren't you?
Gary: Sorry?
Stuart: Uh, it's not important.

Stuart: I can't believe I lost the love of my life and I get you.
Bert: Let's not forget, he killed Raj.
Kripke: [chuckles] Well, now, there are two possibilities. One, the world we were just in no wonger exists, in which case I did not "kill Waj." Two, that world and this world are part of an infinite number of worlds, in which case I killed one of an infinite number of Wajs. Mathematicawy, a wounding error.