Bert: Hi. Can you help us?
Ramona Nowitzki: Well, I certainly hope so.
Kripke: Great. We are wooking for Dr. Weonard Hofstadter or perhaps Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Ramona Nowitzki: Do you have an appointment?
Kripke: Uh...
Bert: No.
Ramona Nowitzki: Oh, I wish you had an appointment. [continues typing]
Kripke: Can we make one?
Ramona Nowitzki: Of course.
Bert: Then we'd like to make an appointment.
Ramona Nowitzki: I don't make appointments. You'd have to contact their personal assistants. [continues typing]
Kripke: Okay. Mm! And h... how do we get in touch with them?
Ramona Nowitzki: You call them.

Bert: You need to be cool. Got it.
Kripke: Can we start over?
Ramona Nowitzki: By all means.
Kripke: Here's the thing. Weonard Hofstadter and Sheldon Cooper built a vewy special device.
Ramona Nowitzki: Well, if anyone here could build a special device, it's certainly those two.
Kripke: It certainly is. [she chuckles]
Bert: You're doing good.

Stuart: I can't believe I lost the love of my life and I get you.
Bert: Let's not forget, he killed Raj.
Kripke: [chuckles] Well, now, there are two possibilities. One, the world we were just in no wonger exists, in which case I did not "kill Waj." Two, that world and this world are part of an infinite number of worlds, in which case I killed one of an infinite number of Wajs. Mathematicawy, a wounding error.

Kripke: Gentlemen, we are in hell.
Bert: Really? Everyone's being so nice to each other.
Mailman: Hi!
Stuart: Yeah, they have devices implanted in their necks to make them nice.
Bert: Would you rather push the button on the Sheldon/Leonard thingy and try another universe?
Kripke: No, thanks. We could wind up somewhere worse.
Bert: Like where humans are a meat source for a highly evolved wizard people?
Kripke: Yeah, like that.
Bert: Or one where everyone's French, but no one speaks French.

Kripke: Anyway, the device has torn the fabwic of weality, possibly causing the universe to cowapse and then weegwo.
Ramona Nowitzki: "Weegwo"?
Kripke: Yeah, weegwo.
Ramona Nowitzki: What is "weegwo"?
Kripke: Weegwo. Uh, uh, like a plant weegwos.
Ramona Nowitzki: Weegwo?
Kripke: Wee-gwo.
Ramona Nowitzki: "Weegwo"?
Kripke: Weegwo. You stupid, stupid-
[Kripke groans as he's zapped again. He tries to stay upright by leaning on the counter but is eventually overcome and drops to the floor.]
Bert: He has trouble with the letter "R."
Ramona Nowitzki: Oh! "Regrow." [chuckles] That makes more sense.