Stuart: Wait a second. Wait a second. Cosmic Treadmill.
Kripke: Cosmic-what now?
Denise: Brilliant. The Flash. He has the Cosmic Treadmill.
Kripke: At the wisk of sounding wedundant, cosmic-what now?
Denise: Cosmic Treadmill. It allows the Flash to move between universes.
Kripke: Tweadmill? Like at 24 Hour Fitness?
Stuart: No, but yeah.
Kripke: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Kripke: Well, wucky for you, we're not hanging awound.
[Kripke scoffs and chuckles. When he opens the door to the comic book store to leave, his demeanour suddenly changes as he almost falls into an endless black void]
Kripke: Holy cwap! Ah, fellas, you might want to take a wook.
Kyle: Oh, oh, uh, um...
Stuart: This is not Pasadena. [audience laughing]
Kripke: What the hell was that?

Stuart: Now, the instructions that came with the device are a message from whoever's trying to help me.
Kripke: [thinking] Wook at me, PhD from Stanford, and I'm taking orders from a guy who wuns a comic book store.
Stuart: You wanna be in charge, Kripke?
Kripke: [out loud] No, you're doing fine. [thinking] I'll just wait for you to fail, then make fun of you.
Stuart: Thank you. [Kripke nods his head]

Denise: What kind of universe is this?
Kripke: I don't think we made it to another universe. I think we're stuck between universes.
Denise: What exists between universes?
Kripke: Best guess? Sort of an interdimensional taint? Think of it like being stuck between the balls of one universe and the asshole of another.
Denise: You're disgusting!

Stuart: Let's see. Uh... City Hall, Wayne Tower, two miles down that way, Arkham Asylum. We're in Gotham City. Home of... Anyone?
Denise: [in gruff voice] Batman. [chuckles]
Stuart: How can I not love you?
Bert: So what? We just find Batman and he'll get us out of here?
Stuart: Denise.
Denise: [still in gruff voice] Batman won't help you. He's just a rich asshole with dead parents.
Kripke: Yeah, that's only funny once.
Denise: [still in gruff voice] Go fuck yourself.

Bert: If we need a superhero, why not just get Superman?
Stuart: So just get Superman? There's no way we can get Superman. He's an A-list character. The Flash, on the other hand, very gettable. He'll open a supermarket.

Kyle: Ah, ah, what are you doing?
Trevor: It said, "don't sell," not "don't read."
Kyle: First of all, "it" is a he.
Trevor: You don't know that.
Kyle: [sighs] It sounds like a he.
Trevor: You're making a gender-based assumption.
Kyle: When has an omnipotent swirling bowl of shit ever been a girl?
Trevor: There are plenty of all-powerful goddesses. Gaia, Hera, the hot chick in American Gods who sucked guys up into her business.
Kyle: [sighs] Put it back.
Trevor: Narc.