Stuart: Do you think that I'm wrong for bailing out on the whole "save the universe" thing?
Denise: Doesn't matter what I think. What do you think?
Stuart: It'd be different if I signed up for it. But I didn't, so I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong. Living my own life, making my own choices.
Denise: Okay.
Stuart: And besides, nothing really happens for hundreds of years.
Denise: True.
Stuart: I mean, sure, there'd be an infinite number of lives lost or never even born across an infinite number of universes. And how's that my problem?
Denise: It most certainly is not.
Stuart: Thank you.
Denise: Unless you want it to be.

Bert: Shall we?
Stuart: [sighs] Mm, I don't know. I'm having second thoughts.
Bert: What are you talking about? We've been given a quest.
Stuart: Yeah, but, uh, do we believe that guy?
Bert: That guy was you.
Stuart: That's my point. When did we start listening to me?

Denise: What's your plan?
Stuart: No, I don't really have one. I'm kind of new to the action genre.

Stuart: Okay, I'm just gonna say it, and forgive me if it doesn't make sense. Denise, you and I are destined to be together, and I have come from a parallel universe... uh, to "claim" you.
Denise: Well, that is really something.
Gary: Mind-blowing. [Denise chuckles]
Stuart: Okay, you're... So, you're like a running joke in all this, aren't you?
Gary: Sorry?
Stuart: Uh, it's not important.

Kripke: What's happening?
Stuart: You gotta try this.
Kripke: You're kidding?
Stuart: Just try it.
Kripke: [eats] This is the best damn thing I've ever put in my mouth... [with rhotacism] ...and I've put some cwazy shit in my mouth.

Bert: I've been doing a little research. It turns out this universe is pretty close to ours before the apocalypse. Couple of differences. Baseball doesn't have a DH rule and they don't have Skechers Slip-Ins. That's a drag.
Kripke: Are you weaving anything out there, buddy?
Bert: Uh, let's see. Oh, okay. John Cougar is still John Cougar. He never went back to Mellencamp.

Kripke: We don't wanna stay in Cowtown.
Denise: Why not?
Bert: We did pretty good in those other universes.
Kripke: I had sex in three out of five of them, and granted, one was with Gary, but he's a very genewous wover.