Denise: What is all this? Are we dead?
Bert: Or maybe we were never real.
Stuart: Of course we're real. Figments of the imagination don't have irritable bowel syndrome.
Kripke: You too?
Stuart: Yeah.
Kripke: Hey. [they fist bump] What do you do for it?
Stuart: You have to learn to manage stress, and it sounds counterintuitive, but you actually want a little less fiber.
Kripke: Intewesting. I'll try that.
Denise: Oh, my God. Will you two stop? We just walked past actors who play us. That has to be more pressing than the quality of your BMs.
Stuart: You're right. I mean, I don't wish what happens to me in the bathroom on my worst enemy, but you're-- you're right.

Denise: What's your plan?
Stuart: No, I don't really have one. I'm kind of new to the action genre.

Stuart: Okay, I'm just gonna say it, and forgive me if it doesn't make sense. Denise, you and I are destined to be together, and I have come from a parallel universe... uh, to "claim" you.
Denise: Well, that is really something.
Gary: Mind-blowing. [Denise chuckles]
Stuart: Okay, you're... So, you're like a running joke in all this, aren't you?
Gary: Sorry?
Stuart: Uh, it's not important.

Bert: Shall we?
Stuart: [sighs] Mm, I don't know. I'm having second thoughts.
Bert: What are you talking about? We've been given a quest.
Stuart: Yeah, but, uh, do we believe that guy?
Bert: That guy was you.
Stuart: That's my point. When did we start listening to me?

Stuart: Where the hell are we?
Kyle: Nowhere.
Stuart: What do you mean "nowhere"?
Kyle: You know somewhere?
Stuart: Yeah.
Kyle: This ain't that.

Denise: Wait, so we're trapped here forever?
Kyle: Uh, no, no. Forever is a time. We're here always.

Kyle: The consciousness was deeply unhappy about creation. It hated everything about it. Uh, the planets, the stars, uh, salsa dancing. [chuckles] Vaseline, everything. It missed the peace and silence of infinite nothing.
Bert: I get that.
Kripke: What do you mean you get that?
Bert: You ever been to Costco on a Black Friday? It can be very upsetting.