Stuart: Denise. [Denise sniffles] I don't want this to sound insensitive, but isn't being trapped by an evil omniscient entity in a cosmic void more important than your birthday? [studio audience laughing]
Denise: I guess it is to you. [studio audience laughing]
Stuart: Denise, listen to me. I love you, and I will do anything to make you happy.
Denise: Except remember my birthday. [studio audience laughing]
Stuart: Uh... Let me try again. Denise.
Denise: Yes?
Stuart: Happy birthday.
Denise: That's it?
Stuart: [sings] ♪ To you ♪ [studio audience laughing] ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪
Denise: Please stop.
Stuart: Sorry. So, are we good?
Denise: Do you think we're good?
Stuart: [groans] Yes? [studio audience laughing] [Denise gets up and leaves] [groans] No. [studio audience laughing]

Denise: What's your plan?
Stuart: No, I don't really have one. I'm kind of new to the action genre.

Stuart: Okay, I'm just gonna say it, and forgive me if it doesn't make sense. Denise, you and I are destined to be together, and I have come from a parallel universe... uh, to "claim" you.
Denise: Well, that is really something.
Gary: Mind-blowing. [Denise chuckles]
Stuart: Okay, you're... So, you're like a running joke in all this, aren't you?
Gary: Sorry?
Stuart: Uh, it's not important.

Bert: Shall we?
Stuart: [sighs] Mm, I don't know. I'm having second thoughts.
Bert: What are you talking about? We've been given a quest.
Stuart: Yeah, but, uh, do we believe that guy?
Bert: That guy was you.
Stuart: That's my point. When did we start listening to me?

Stuart: Where the hell are we?
Kyle: Nowhere.
Stuart: What do you mean "nowhere"?
Kyle: You know somewhere?
Stuart: Yeah.
Kyle: This ain't that.

Denise: Wait, so we're trapped here forever?
Kyle: Uh, no, no. Forever is a time. We're here always.

Kyle: The consciousness was deeply unhappy about creation. It hated everything about it. Uh, the planets, the stars, uh, salsa dancing. [chuckles] Vaseline, everything. It missed the peace and silence of infinite nothing.
Bert: I get that.
Kripke: What do you mean you get that?
Bert: You ever been to Costco on a Black Friday? It can be very upsetting.