Sergeant: Charlie Company, fall in! All right, listen up! Lieutenant has a few words to say.
Gary: Thank you, Sergeant. Charlie Company, there's no easy way to say this. Alpha Company didn't make it back. Bravo Company didn't make it back. And if you're familiar with the alphabet, you're up.
Kripke: Ah, shit.
Gary: We're outgunned. We're outmanned. And we're facing a lethal and merciless enemy. All right. We're gonna say a little prayer. Everybody take a knee. Atheists, sit, stand. Your choice. [all kneel] Lord, we're probably coming home to you today. [Sergeant nods] 'Cause near as I can figure, we're marching straight into a monumental ass-reaming. So, polish up the pearly gates. We'll be seeing you soon.
Bert: Amen.

Gary: Stuart Bloom?
Stuart: Yes, sir.
Gary: [sighs] You want to sign for this?
Stuart: Gary.
Gary: All day long.
Stuart: Denise, look. It's Gary.
Denise: I see.
Gary: Do I know you guys?
Denise: We were married in another universe. Didn't work out.
Stuart: There's also, uh, another version of you who knew another version of her.
Gary: Uh-huh.
Stuart: But he's dead.
Denise: Mm.
Gary: I hate this job.

Stuart: Denise, what are you doing?
Denise: Trying to keep you alive.
Gary: I don't care about your life. I'm just hoping to get laid tonight.
Denise: Gary.
Gary: Oh, uh...
Bert: Very kind. Thank you.

Gary: All right, Charlie Company! Let's end this war! Right here, right now!
[Gary yells as he charges up a ladder, only to recoil while remaining upright as bullets repeatedly pierce him and blood spurts from all over his body]
Bert: This seems unnecessarily graphic.
[After Gary falls backwards into the trench, the group stand over him.]
Denise: Hang in there.

Stuart: So, wait, you know that she's unhappy and you're fine with it?
Gary: She's only unhappy when she's sober, and that's not very often.
Denise: No, no, I have a little problem with the... [clicks tongue] ...so... [chuckles]
Stuart: [chuckles nervously] Mm-hmm. Okay. What kind of crazy upside-down world is this? Denise, you have the right to be happy! [raises voice] There's no reason to stay with somebody that makes you mis--
[Stuart groans as he is zapped, causing him to fall out of the chair and writhe about on the floor in pain]
Gary: Yeah. [Stuart babbling] Rum and Coke?
Denise: Diet Coke, please.
Gary: Coming up.

Gary: Well, good luck.
Denise: Yeah, nice to see you.
Stuart: Yeah, you too. Have fun with the... looting and stuff.
Bert: Ciao. [Stuart and Bert walk off]
Gary: They're gonna die.
Denise: Oh, yeah.

Gary: All right, here's how we do this. I'll create a distraction at the main gate. The three of you cut around to the side, where the trucks are going in.
Stuart: Yeah, then what?
Gary: When the trucks stop, you roll under them, grab the undercarriage, and ride on in.
Bert: You, sir, have done this before.
Gary: Well, back in the day, I was Army Special Forces.
Bert: Cool. I was a geologist.
Gary: We ready?