Gary: Stuart Bloom?
Stuart: Yes, sir.
Gary: [sighs] You want to sign for this?
Stuart: Gary.
Gary: All day long.
Stuart: Denise, look. It's Gary.
Denise: I see.
Gary: Do I know you guys?
Denise: We were married in another universe. Didn't work out.
Stuart: There's also, uh, another version of you who knew another version of her.
Gary: Uh-huh.
Stuart: But he's dead.
Denise: Mm.
Gary: I hate this job.

Kripke: Yeah, "comic books are my superpower." Where we going?
Stuart: Uh, give me a minute.
Gary: [meter dings] Meter's running.
Stuart: Maybe you can help us out. We need to find the Flash.
Gary: Oh, sure. He has an office midtown in between an H&R Block and a Quiznos.
Bert: I believe he's screwing with us.
Kripke: Thank you.
Bert: You're welcome.

Sergeant: Charlie Company, fall in! All right, listen up! Lieutenant has a few words to say.
Gary: Thank you, Sergeant. Charlie Company, there's no easy way to say this. Alpha Company didn't make it back. Bravo Company didn't make it back. And if you're familiar with the alphabet, you're up.
Kripke: Ah, shit.
Gary: We're outgunned. We're outmanned. And we're facing a lethal and merciless enemy. All right. We're gonna say a little prayer. Everybody take a knee. Atheists, sit, stand. Your choice. [all kneel] Lord, we're probably coming home to you today. [Sergeant nods] 'Cause near as I can figure, we're marching straight into a monumental ass-reaming. So, polish up the pearly gates. We'll be seeing you soon.
Bert: Amen.

Denise: [gasps] There he is! The Flash!
Stuart: Quick, follow him!
Gary: You want me to follow the Flash?
Stuart: If you wouldn't mind.
Gary: Get out of my cab.
Denise: Nice to see you.

Stuart: So, you think I should do it?
Denise: I didn't say that.
Stuart: Denise, I'm not a hero. I'm a broke-ass failed artist who owns a comic book store. In fact, I'm such a failure, in every universe we go to, I own a comic book store.
Denise: No argument.
Stuart: You can argue a little.

Stuart: Oh, uh, just one more thing. Kyle, Trevor. Denise and I are gonna leave this universe 'cause I'm on a mission to prevent the destruction of reality itself.
Kyle: Okay.
Trevor: Sure, yeah.
Denise: You really don't have any questions?
Trevor: I got one. This Batman #608 has a water stain. Any flexibility on price?
Stuart: No. Goodbye, guys.
[After Stuart activates the machine, he and Denise are absorbed by an interdimensional bubble and disappear with the device]
Kyle: I think you can just take it.

Stuart Prime: So, you want to explain to me why you gave the Leonard/Sheldon thingy to Bert and Kripke?
Stuart: Uh, well, we decided to stay here.
Stuart Prime: Oh, okay, cool! "We decided to stay here. It's great. I don't have to save the universe. I can just chew my frickin' cud."
Denise: [scoffs] Other you's kind of a dick.