Stuart: What are you doing?
Denise: What?
Stuart: You're eating my ficus.
Denise: Oh, look at that. It's really good.
Kripke: Setting aside the fact that "you're eating my ficus" sounds dirty, you're eating his ficus.

Stuart: That's ridiculous. How could we be descended from... [gags, belches] [chews] ...cows?
Kripke: All wight. This universe is stupid. Push that button and let's get- [gags, belches] [chews] Yum!

Denise: We have four stomachs and chew our cud.
Stuart: Cud. It's not just for breakfast anymore.

Bert: Last place was nice. I almost married a woman who thought I was beautiful. [burps]
Stuart: Yeah, and then there was a violent riot and we had to flee for our lives.
Bert: [burps] Every rose has thorns, Stuart. Hmm. I wonder what a rose would taste like.
Denise: Mm.

Stuart: Maybe we could even get married.
Denise: Are you... [gags, belches] [gulps] ...proposing?
Stuart: Depends. Are you... [gags, gulps] ...accepting?
Denise: I've always imagined this moment, but with less vomit in my mouth.
Stuart: Well, I didn't mean to put you on the spot.
Denise: Mm-hmm.
Stuart: Just think about it. [both gag, gulp]

Denise: You know, I was thinking about what you said at dinner.
Stuart: And?
Denise: I think we could be happy here. People are really nice. The food's great. I hear the health care's terrific.
Stuart: One more reason to call this home.
Denise: Mm. Mm. [spits out hay] Sorry.
[As Denise and Stuart cuddle up together, they both gag and gulp at the same time]

Bert: You know what you're doing?
Kripke: I am a world-wenowned physicist. I am perfectly capable of traversing interdimensional wealities.

Kripke: Bert, stop screaming!
Bert: But we're falling to our death!
Kripke: Do you see a bottom?
Bert: No.
Kripke: What's that tell you?
Bert: We're falling to our death eventually.
Kripke: Or not.
Bert: So, now what?
Kripke: I don't know. Let's think it through. [whooshing continues]
Bert: Anything?
Kripke: Nope.
Bert: So, back to screaming?
Kripke: Yeah, I guess so. [both screaming]

Stuart: I hope we made the right decision.
Denise: I think we did. It's a beautiful world.
Stuart: Yeah. [chuckles softly] Ooh, salt lick.
Denise: Mm, come to Mama.
Stuart: Two, please.
Denise: [moans] Oh, it's so good. [both moan] Am I tasting sea salt?
Carl: It's Himalayan.
Denise: [moans] Oh, yeah. There's the mountain.

Raj Koothrappali: I-- I've tried calling and warning everyone. JPL, NASA, the White House. You know what they said to me? They said I was crazy.
Stuart: Really? You screamed that the universe is coming to an end to the lady that answers the phone at the White House and she didn't take you seriously?
Raj Koothrappali: Entire star systems at the edge of the universe are disappearing. Which means...
Stuart: Sorry, all I got is schmutz.

Bert: Push the button! Get us out of here!
Kripke: Oh, right, yeah. [button clicks] [device creaks, beeps] [whooshing] [button clicks] [device creaks, beeps] Shit!
Bert: It didn't work.
Kripke: I know. Hence "Shit."

Stuart: "Shrub Hub." Makes sense. Shrub Hub. Who's ready for Japanese food?
Denise: Me, me.
Stuart: The only downside to the whole four stomach thing is I'm constantly hungry.
Denise: I know. Mm, bonsai. Soy sauce? [Stuart hands Denise a packet] Thank you.

Denise: Stuart, this is your decision. I just think anyone can be a hero if they're trying to make life better for other people. And as you pointed out, this would be all people who exist or ever will exist, in every possible universe.
Stuart: If I do this, we could end up in a much worse situation than what we have right now.
Denise: There are no bad situations as long as I'm with you. [they lean in to kiss] [both gag, gulp] Mm, your cud tastes great.
Stuart: Right back at you, baby.

Denise: Look, this one came with instructions.
Stuart: Oh, really?
Denise: And a warranty.
Stuart: "Congratulations on your purchase of an interdimensional transport device." Ooh, it's got Bluetooth.
Denise: Now, I don't understand. If Bert and Barry took the device, how is there another one?
Stuart: Uh, let me look. "Don't use near water." "Caution. Small parts, choking hazard." Okay, here we go. "This is a quantum echo of the original device. It both exists and does not exist. And when activated, it will merge with the original device."
Denise: You know, I'm just gonna stop asking questions. Let's go.

Stuart: [thinking] Everything looks normal.
Denise: [thinking] What'd you say?
Stuart: I said it looks normal.
Denise: Your mouth isn't moving.
Stuart: Neither is yours.
Bert: [thinking] I think we're hearing each other's thoughts.
Kripke: [thinking] That's gonna be a big pwoblem for me.
Stuart: [out loud] Why?
Kripke: [out loud] Why what?
Stuart: Why is it gonna be a big problem?
Kripke: [thinking] My mother bathed me till I was 12. [out loud] Damn it!

Bert: I think I know what's going on.
Denise: Oh, I'll tell you what's going on. This is the most- [gags, gulps] [gulps] What is happening?
Bert: I believe you're chewing your cud.
Kripke: She's what-ing her what?
Bert: "The human body is a miracle. We have four stomachs, just like our ancestors, the cows."

Giorgio: All right, we have Kentucky bluegrass.
Bert: Oh, that's me.
Stuart: Smells delicious.
Giorgio: Who had the tall fescue?
Stuart: Me.
Denise: Mm. So good. [Stuart chuckles]
Giorgio: Bermuda for the gentleman.
Stuart: Wow.
Kripke: Thank you.
Giorgio: And the clover for the lady.
Denise: Thank you.
Giorgio: Bon appétit.

Raj Koothrappali: [hesitates] Listen to me. It's not just GN-z11. It's the Triangulum Galaxy and the Hyperion proto-supercluster.
Denise: Oh, no.
Stuart: Why "oh, no"?
Denise: "Oh, yay" sounded wrong.

Stuart: Do you think that I'm wrong for bailing out on the whole "save the universe" thing?
Denise: Doesn't matter what I think. What do you think?
Stuart: It'd be different if I signed up for it. But I didn't, so I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong. Living my own life, making my own choices.
Denise: Okay.
Stuart: And besides, nothing really happens for hundreds of years.
Denise: True.
Stuart: I mean, sure, there'd be an infinite number of lives lost or never even born across an infinite number of universes. And how's that my problem?
Denise: It most certainly is not.
Stuart: Thank you.
Denise: Unless you want it to be.

[As Stuart and Denise join Bert and Kripke in falling through the endless void, the newcomers scream]
Kripke: Yeah, wight. Give it a west.
Stuart: [shouting] Give it a rest? Are you crazy?
Denise: What is happening?
Bert: We're falling.
Stuart: Yeah, we got that!