Denise: What is going on?
Stuart: Wild guess? We've landed in a universe where magic is real.
Denise: Wait, this machine actually worked? We're in another universe?
Stuart: It's, uh... It's crazy, right?
Denise: [gasps] There's magic here?
Stuart: What else explains the, uh, asshole on Trevor's head?

Bert: Uh-oh, that's not supposed to be there.
Stuart: What just happened?
Kripke: I don't know.
Bert: I have a hypothesis.
Stuart: I'm listening.
Bert: Did you notice the thing on the back of your necks?
Kripke: What? What thing?
Bert: Humor me.

Bert: I'll just get in the car.
Officer McCaffrey: Oh, thank you.
Bert: Yeah.
[As Bert gets in the back of the police car with Kripke still writhing about on the grass outside, Stuart is already in the vehicle and holds two bottles of water:]
Stuart: Sparkling or flat?

Bert: Excuse me, young lady, but that is wildly- [Penny slaps Bert] Ow! Why aren't you being shocked?
Penny: Shielding technology.
Stuart: Oh, great!
Penny: Yeah, it's pretty tight. [slaps Stuart again]
Stuart: [groans, sighs] When are you gonna stop hitting us?
Penny: When you get angry.
Stuart: Huh. [groans as Penny slaps him again]
Penny: Are you angry?
Stuart: No. [Stuart yelps as she slaps him again]
Penny: Are you angry?
Stuart: No. [yells as Penny slaps him again]
Penny: [shouts] Are you angry?
Stuart: Yup!

Trevor: Oh, excuse me. I was gonna buy that book.
Kyle: Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. Here. [chuckles] I had no idea.
Trevor: It was unintentional. I forgive you.
Kyle: I appreciate that.
Trevor: And I appreciate you. [both laugh]

Kripke: This can't be good.
Officer Denison: Hey, fellas.
Officer McCaffrey: Got a minute?
Bert: What's going on?
Officer McCaffrey: I'm Officer McCaffrey. This is Officer Denison.
Officer Denison: Call me "Steve."
Officer McCaffrey: And we're going to be your arresting officers today.
Kripke: What did we do?
Officer McCaffrey: [both chuckle] "What did we do?" I love these guys.
Officer Denison: Oh, yeah.

Kripke: Stuart?
Stuart: Yeah?
Kripke: You okay?
Stuart: I am, yeah. Thank you for asking.
Bert: I'm okay, too.

Penny: Shoot him!
[Three drones smash through the glass windows, prompting Kripke to turn around]
Kripke: Oh, boy.
Zack Johnson: Oh, shit! They found us!
Penny: Okay. Shoot the drones! Shoot the drones!

[Zack starts convulsing after being shot by a drone, creating a blue electrical field around his whole body]
Penny: No, don't get shot, you idiot.