[Cartoon versions of the group appear on the cover of a comic book]
Kripke: [v.o.] Where the hell are we?
Stuart: [v.o.] I'm gonna guess wherever we are, we're trapped.
[The camera pans up to the title of the comic book, "Stuart Fails to Save the Universe TRAPPED!"]

The Adversary: Their forward progress has been stopped. Your only task is to keep them here.
Kyle: Uh, question?
The Adversary: Yes, Kyle?
Kyle: Um, what if somebody wants to buy that comic book?
The Adversary: Don't sell it to them.
Trevor: What do we say?
The Adversary: You tell them it's not for sale.
Trevor: Good. That's good.
Kyle: We got your back.
Trevor: Or whatever you have.
Kyle: Your circumference.

Denise: There we are! [soldiers shouting] [other Denise shrieks] Let's go!
Stuart: [groans]
Bert: Are you okay?
Stuart: Ooh, muscle cramp, all the running.
Denise: You should eat a banana.

Kripke: Oh, shit.
Denise: How long do we have to stay here?
Bert: Just until we follow ourselves so that they, which is we, run to the centaur world where they become us.
Kripke: I don't understand.
Stuart: No one understands!

Denise: Go back two more worlds, honey.
Stuart: Uh, right, right.
[After the device beeps and whirs, Stuart, Kripke, Bert and Denise are transported in an interdimensional bubble along with the device]
Penny: What? [Penny trots around] I do not hate this.

Penny: Wha...? What? What is happening?
Bert: We're in a universe where everyone's a centaur. [Penny yelps as her back half knocks over a rack] I call it the centaur universe.

Penny: All right, I'm gonna give you one last chance to save your ass. We have prepared a fake battle plan. All you need to do is use your device, transmit it to your friends on the other side, and we'll commute your sentence to a life of hard labor.
Stuart: Done, done, and done.
Penny: All right, untie him, take his blindfold off now. [a soldier does so] Hi.
Stuart: Okay, uh, let me just warm this up. [loudly] And we are preparing to transmit the fake battle plans on three, two, one! [Kripke, Bert and Denise move closer to Stuart and the device] [device whirring]
Penny: What's happening?

Denise: Stuart, I love you.
Bert: It's me, but I'll pass it down. Stuart, I love you.
Kripke: It's me.
Bert: Pass it down.
Kripke: Stuart.
Stuart: Yeah?
Kripke: Bert woves you.

General Adams: Court finds the defendants guilty on all counts and sentences them to death by firing squad.
Penny: Sweet!

General Adams: The defendants will rise.
Stuart: [imitates hyperventilating] I'm having an asthma attack! [inhaler hisses]
Bert: And I am thinking of a card.
Stuart: [imitates hyperventilating]

Bert: How about this? If we can find a deck of cards, I can distract them with some close-up magic.

Kripke: Okay. I say we gwab the machine and get out of here.
Stuart: Look around. There's guys with guns.
Kripke: I'll cweate a distwaction.
Stuart: Oh, why don't I create a distraction and you get it?
Kripke: What's your distwaction?
Stuart: I don't know. Asthma attack?
Kripke: Let me see.
Stuart: [imitates hyperventilating] [inhaler hisses]
Kripke: [sighs] Yeah, I'm not buying it.
Stuart: What don't you buy? I've been practicing it for 25 years.

General Adams: Court will now adjourn to consider a verdict.
Captain Siebert: Fingers crossed.

Stuart: Your Honors, if you'll indulge me, I think I can clear this up.
General Adams: Make it quick.
Stuart: We're not from your universe. These two gentlemen and I are from a version of reality that's even worse than this one. [Penny sighs and places down her folder] There's, uh, mutants and giant moths. You don't even wanna know. And this lovely young woman is from a universe where humanity is controlled by a globe-straddling artificial intelligence.
Denise: Not helping.
Stuart: So, what you're calling desertion, cowardice in the face of the enemy, is actually us trying to bravely restore order across all universes. [the judges are silent] [Penny shakes her head] Yeah, just shoot us. [sits down]
Kripke: Hey, that was gweat. Weawy gweat.

Stuart: Say something. Defend us!
Captain Siebert: Your Honors, I'd like to speak on my client's behalf.
General Adams: Go ahead.
Captain Siebert: Thank you. [Penny is twirling her hair] Do we really know what happened in the fog of war?
Penny: We have video.
Captain Siebert: Let me start again. Though clearly guilty, wouldn't we, as a nation of God-fearing men and women... ...best display our values by showing mercy to these miserable, undeserving wretches?
General Adams: No.
Captain Siebert: [to Stuart] Have you got anything?

General Adams: Captain Siebert, can you explain what we have here?
Captain Siebert: A moment. [Stuart whispers indistinctly to Captain Siebert about the device] No.
Penny: The evidence against these four is irrefutable. The only possible penalty is death. By firing squad.
Captain Siebert: That's how she got the nickname.

General Adams: So entered. Major, would you like to make an opening statement?
Penny: Thank you, sir. [clears throat] In front of you sit four of the most foul, pathetic, loathsome creatures to ever wear the uniform.
Bert: Ouch.
Penny: We've all been witness to their cowardice, but even more heinous was the discovery of this device, clearly a means to relay information to our enemy.

General Adams: At 0800, this court martial is called to order. Major, would you please read the charges?
Penny: With pleasure. [clears throat] The defendants are charged with cowardice in the face of the enemy, desertion, espionage, murder, and mutiny.
Kripke: Espionage? When did we do espionage? [Stuart shushes him]
General Adams: These are serious charges. How does the defense plead?
Captain Siebert: A moment, Your Honor. I'm thinking guilty. Just rip the Band-Aid off.
Stuart: [to the panel] Uh, we're not guilty.

Penny: Captain.
Captain Siebert: Major.
Penny: Are these your traitors?
Captain Siebert: Yes. I mean, they're presumed not to be, but yes.
Kripke: I weawy don't like the way this is going.

Captain Siebert: Oh shit.
Denise: Oh shit? Why, "Oh shit"?
Captain Siebert: Oh shit. Her.
Bert: Look who it is. It's Penny.
Captain Siebert: You know Firing Squad Penny?
Denise: We just know her as regular Penny.