Denise: Where are we gonna find red quartz?
Stuart: No idea. Luckily, we know a geologist.
Denise: Oh, right, Bert. You gonna tell him you pawed through bear shit to find a message?
Stuart: Nope.
Denise: Can I?
Stuart: Nope.

Simpa: Tell me about monogamous.
Kripke: [groans] That's a wittle complicated. Um... Ah! Let's say you're fishing on a wake, and after a very wong time, you finally catch a small blue fish. You take it home, you cook it, you eat it. It's dewicious. So you decide you're only gonna eat that same stupid fish for the west of your wife, even if another fish gives you her phone number.
Simpa: What if you want to be with someone, but they're doing monogamous with someone else?
Kripke: Been there. Three choices. You can get over her, twicky without porn. You can convince her to cheat on the other guy, but for that, you weawy need a car with tinted windows. And finawy, you figure out a way to get wid of the other guy.
Simpa: Like send him on a journey?
Kripke: Yeah, or maybe he, uh, falls off a cwiff. Happens.

Kripke: Now, by giving me these melons, you've established what is called cwedit, which you can weverage for future purchases.
Alta: Why not share the melons with everyone?
Kripke: Think it through. If you do that, how does anyone get wich?

Chana: Now that we've made love, shall I prepare you a wonderful meal?
Bert: Wow. You really get me. [Chana kisses Bert's cheek] Oh. Do you guys have French toast?

Simpa: Chana?
Chana: Oh, hi, Simpa.
Bert: Not a good time, dude.
Simpa: You did not come to the hut for lovemaking last night.
Chana: Oh, yes. I am monogamous now.
Simpa: What is "monogamous"?
Chana: I only have lovemaking with Bert.
Bert: [chuckles] Yeah, she does.
Simpa: I do not like monogamous.
Bert: It's got its pros and cons, but can we talk about it later?
Simpa: I do not like it. At all.

Chana: Why are you crying?
Bert: I'm just not used to being happy.

Simpa: What are you doing?
Manu: Mine.
Simpa: What's that mean?
Manu: It means it belongs to me.
Simpa: But that's not our way. We- We share bowls. We... We share everything.
Manu: Maybe if you're a commie... or a sociawist.

Stuart: You need to see this.
Denise: Oh, wow. "Use red quartz." But where are we gonna find that?
Stuart: No idea.
Denise: Maybe in rabbit shit?

Droppings Reader: Looks like nothing for me today. [pats Stuart on the back] Good luck.
Stuart: That's probably not coming out.

Kripke: So, for example, I have cwaimed this bowl because I don't want your germs, which means this bowl is mine. My bowl.
Manu: All the bowls are the same. How do we know?
Kripke: Ah, good question. Wook here on the bottom. I have put my mark. Now, I know you're all charmingwy iwiterate but this is a wetter, the wetter "K," as in "keep your hands off Kwipke's bowl." [Alta raises her hand] Yeah?
Alta: Isn't it better if we all share everything?
Kripke: Maybe if you're a pinko communist... [chuckling] ...but I don't have to tell you how that worked out.
Alta: How did that work out?
Kripke: [hesitates] This is my bowl, don't touch my bowl.

Denise: Wait, you find messages in bear shit?
Droppings Reader: Oh, yes. When will the rains come? Will our women be fertile?
Stuart: Of course. Primitive cultures, signs in animal droppings. Mind if I jump in?
Denise: What are you doing?
Stuart: If we're gonna receive a message in this universe, maybe this is how.
Denise: In shit?
Stuart: I don't make the rules, Denise. Now, you wanna help me, or you wanna stand there looking disgusted?
Denise: Oh, disgusted, no question.

Denise: Excuse me.
Droppings Reader: Yes?
Denise: Is that shit?
Droppings Reader: Yes. Bear.
Denise: Mm-hmm. [to Stuart] You want to take a crack at this?
Stuart: Why?
Droppings Reader: Don't people in Pasadena look for signs and omens in animal droppings?
Stuart: There's probably someone.

Denise: But if there are infinite universes, maybe there's one where the English language evolved entirely on its own.
Stuart: Without an England?

Lina: Thank you.
Kripke: Oh, you're very welcome. [they hug]
Xena: Mm. [giggles] So happy.
Kripke: Oh. We aim to pwease. [to Lumpa] Hey. [chuckles] Nice work in there.
Lumpa: You too.
Kripke: [to Karni] And you... [chuckles] You are getting a... a hand-written thank-you note. Come on. [they hug] [grunts] I could kill for a protein shake.

Bert: Well, we do things differently where I come from.
Chana: Pasadena?
Bert: Yeah. When a man and a woman love each other, they're monogamous.
Chana: What is "monogamous"?
Bert: They only have sex with one another.
Chana: And everyone in Pasadena does this?
Bert: Well, I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of them. Definitely more than in Beverly Hills.

Chana: Did you enjoy our sex last night?
Bert: [chuckles] It was great. Also, I love you.
Chana: Then I love you.
Simpa: Chana, would you like to share my bed tonight?
Chana: Sure.
Bert: What the fuck?

Denise: So, we're really stuck here?
Stuart: Well, hang on. Someone's been sending me messages. Maybe they'll tell us how to fix the machine.
Denise: But there's no technology here. How do you send a message?
Stuart: Primitive cultures had lots of ways to communicate. Drums, smoke signals... a third thing.

Denise: So what are we supposed to do?
Stuart: I don't know. Look for a hut in a neighborhood with good schools?
Denise: Oh, God. I forgot about our kids.
Stuart: It's okay. Don't worry about it. They- They- They weren't real. They were projections from a malevolent force keeping us enslaved in a false reality.
Denise: Yeah, but they were ours.
Stuart: Yeah.

Denise: It's so beautiful here. Peaceful.
Stuart: Glad you like it, 'cause we ain't going anywhere.
Denise: You couldn't fix the machine?
Stuart: Me? Fix it? No. I come from a long line of people who call a guy.

Stuart: Oh, look, Kripke made a friend.
Kripke: What are you gonna do with one shoe? [Manu tries to take the other shoe off Kripke's foot] No, no. Both mine. Both-
Manu: Both mine.
Kripke: Both mine.
Manu: Both mine?