Stuart: Better question, are we finally in a normal universe?
Kripke: Eh, sure looks like it.
[Denise leans forward and takes a bite out of a green plant]
Denise: [chewing] Seems normal to me.

Kripke: I'm just gonna ask it one more time. How were those people speaking Engwish?

Bert: I was happy there. It was paradise.
Denise: Yeah.
Stuart: So is Pasadena, during the week when Old Town isn't crowded.

Simpa: Mine.
[Simpa picks up Chana and carries her away]
Bert: Huh? [yelps] No, wait. Come back! No! No!
Kripke: Forget it, Bert. It's Chana-Town. Get it?

Bert: This is not the wedding I dreamed of.

Kripke: [chuckles] Oh! What got into these guys?

Denise: Now, before we unite this man and woman in holy matrimony, does anyone object?
Simpa: I do! I- I do! Monogamy is wrong! We are not meant to possess each other, or- or shoes, or clothes, or bowls.
Manu: My bowl?
Simpa: No, no. It is everyone's bowl. [villagers gasping, murmuring]
Manu: No, my bowl.
[Manu hits Simpa across the face with the bowl]

Kripke: I don't know about you guys, but weddings make me horny.

Denise: Oh, my God, I'm trying not to cry. Bert, Chana, you are about to embark on an amazing adventure. You're gonna set sail in a boat made of love. [sighs] And how do we make that boat seaworthy? We build a hull of trust, a mast of compromise, and to it we attach a sail made of dreams.
Stuart: We get it, a boat.

Stuart: Bert, I'd be very happy to be your best man.
Bert: You don't look happy.
Stuart: What do you want from me? I ran out of Lexapro.

Stuart: What are you doing?
Denise: Oh, it's okay. I'm a certified minister of the Universal Life Church.
Stuart: Which doesn't exist in this universe and is bullshit in the one it does.

Denise: What took you so long?
Stuart: I don't want to talk about it.
Gavel: [grabs necklace] Mine.
Stuart: Now what?
Denise: I don't know. Maybe your pile of shit has a plan B.

Denise: I think he's asleep.
Stuart: You think he's asleep or he's asleep?
Denise: He's asleep. [Stuart heads towards the hut] I think.
Stuart: What if we just stay in this universe?
Denise: Do you like the outdoor toilets?
[Stuart groans and heads back to the hut]

Kripke: Why don't you just steaw it?
Stuart: You see the size of that guy?
Kripke: So what? These people don't hit. They don't fight. It's like you had a TV show called Land of the Pussies.
Denise: You're horrible.
Kripke: You know what I say to that, Denise? I say... [bubbling fart] Was that cwear enough, or should I wepeat myself?

Stuart: Kripke, without that red quartz, we're never getting out of here.
Denise: Oh, tell him where you got the message.
Stuart: Would you please?

Kripke: I suppose it's technically possible for a society to develop Engwish as a wanguage without an Engwand, but it seems unwikewy.
Denise: That's what I said.
Stuart: Guys!
Kripke: Of course, we could be speaking their wanguage and not know it.
Denise: I said that too.
Stuart: Listen to me!
Kripke: [to one of the women in the hot tub] Ooh, not so wough on the tushy.
Stuart: I've been through the whole village. There's one piece of red quartz, and Gavel won't give it up.
Kripke: Ah, I'm not surprised. He's also a very selfish wover.

Stuart: Hey, uh... can I have that necklace?
Gavel: No. Mine.
Stuart: What happened to share everything?
Gavel: Mine. We're not commies.
Stuart: Kripke.

Stuart: No, it's where do we find red quartz?
Bert: Why?
Stuart: To fix the machine. I got a message.
Denise: Oh, tell him how you got it.
Stuart: Stop it.
Bert: [points to a necklace on a guy] That's red quartz.
Stuart: Great, thanks.
Denise: Two times. Good for you.

Stuart: Bert... [sighs] ...I need to ask you a geology question.
Bert: Is it how many times can a geologist have sex in a 24-hour period? 'Cause the answer's two.

Stuart: Oh, good. Bert, I figured out how to get us out of here.
Bert: What about, "Nice to see you, Bert"? "What's going on, Bert?"
Denise: All right, what's going on?
Bert: I'm getting married.
Stuart: What?
Bert: Yeah, I asked Chana to marry me. She said yes.
Denise: Does she even know what marriage is?
Bert: No, and don't you tell her.