Stuart: I hope we made the right decision.
Denise: I think we did. It's a beautiful world.
Stuart: Yeah. [chuckles softly] Ooh, salt lick.
Denise: Mm, come to Mama.
Stuart: Two, please.
Denise: [moans] Oh, it's so good. [both moan] Am I tasting sea salt?
Carl: It's Himalayan.
Denise: [moans] Oh, yeah. There's the mountain.

Kripke: Bert, stop screaming!
Bert: But we're falling to our death!
Kripke: Do you see a bottom?
Bert: No.
Kripke: What's that tell you?
Bert: We're falling to our death eventually.
Kripke: Or not.
Bert: So, now what?
Kripke: I don't know. Let's think it through. [whooshing continues]
Bert: Anything?
Kripke: Nope.
Bert: So, back to screaming?
Kripke: Yeah, I guess so. [both screaming]

Bert: You know what you're doing?
Kripke: I am a world-wenowned physicist. I am perfectly capable of traversing interdimensional wealities.

Denise: I'm actually gonna miss them.
Stuart: Yeah. Think you got one more moo in you?
Denise: Only one way to find out.

Kripke: So, uh... I guess this is goodbye.
Stuart: I guess so.
Kripke: Listen, I know I haven't been the best twaveling companion.
Denise: And?
Kripke: And what?
Stuart: Goodbye, Kripke.
Kripke: Okay.

Kripke: We don't wanna stay in Cowtown.
Denise: Why not?
Bert: We did pretty good in those other universes.
Kripke: I had sex in three out of five of them, and granted, one was with Gary, but he's a very genewous wover.

Denise: You know, I was thinking about what you said at dinner.
Stuart: And?
Denise: I think we could be happy here. People are really nice. The food's great. I hear the health care's terrific.
Stuart: One more reason to call this home.
Denise: Mm. Mm. [spits out hay] Sorry.
[As Denise and Stuart cuddle up together, they both gag and gulp at the same time]

Denise: That was really great.
Stuart: Yeah. In the middle there, did... did you moo?
Denise: I did. You made me moo.
Stuart: I think it's the vegetarian diet. I'm more peppy.
Denise: You sure are. I worked up an appetite.
Stuart: You want some hay? I've got some hay.

Stuart: Maybe we could even get married.
Denise: Are you... [gags, belches] [gulps] ...proposing?
Stuart: Depends. Are you... [gags, gulps] ...accepting?
Denise: I've always imagined this moment, but with less vomit in my mouth.
Stuart: Well, I didn't mean to put you on the spot.
Denise: Mm-hmm.
Stuart: Just think about it. [both gag, gulp]

Denise: So, what would we do if we stayed here?
Stuart: I would run a comic book store, you'd work with me, Bert would be a geologist, and Kripke'd be an asshole.
Kripke: Mm, asshole's more of a hobby than a vocation. [gags, gulps]

Giorgio: Did you save room for dessert? Chef just got in some corn.
Kripke: Corn? You trying to fatten us up?
Giorgio: [chuckles] A little, but it's worth it.
Kripke: Fine, one warge corn for the table.

Bert: Last place was nice. I almost married a woman who thought I was beautiful. [burps]
Stuart: Yeah, and then there was a violent riot and we had to flee for our lives.
Bert: [burps] Every rose has thorns, Stuart. Hmm. I wonder what a rose would taste like.
Denise: Mm.

Stuart: Hey, guys, I'm gonna throw something out there. Why don't we just stay in this reality?
Denise: What happened to you saving the universe?
Stuart: I know, but I mean, let's be honest. Were any of us really clear on how that was supposed to work?
Bert: Not really.
Stuart: Right. And yeah, this place isn't perfect... [gags] [gulps] ...but there's no evil computers, no one's getting burned at the stake.
Bert: You really want to stay here?
Stuart: Why not? I mean, we can't get the hang of that stupid machine. Every place we go turns out to be dangerous.

Giorgio: All right, we have Kentucky bluegrass.
Bert: Oh, that's me.
Stuart: Smells delicious.
Giorgio: Who had the tall fescue?
Stuart: Me.
Denise: Mm. So good. [Stuart chuckles]
Giorgio: Bermuda for the gentleman.
Stuart: Wow.
Kripke: Thank you.
Giorgio: And the clover for the lady.
Denise: Thank you.
Giorgio: Bon appétit.

Denise: We have four stomachs and chew our cud.
Stuart: Cud. It's not just for breakfast anymore.

Bert: I've been doing a little research. It turns out this universe is pretty close to ours before the apocalypse. Couple of differences. Baseball doesn't have a DH rule and they don't have Skechers Slip-Ins. That's a drag.
Kripke: Are you weaving anything out there, buddy?
Bert: Uh, let's see. Oh, okay. John Cougar is still John Cougar. He never went back to Mellencamp.

Stuart: That's ridiculous. How could we be descended from... [gags, belches] [chews] ...cows?
Kripke: All wight. This universe is stupid. Push that button and let's get- [gags, belches] [chews] Yum!

Bert: I think I know what's going on.
Denise: Oh, I'll tell you what's going on. This is the most- [gags, gulps] [gulps] What is happening?
Bert: I believe you're chewing your cud.
Kripke: She's what-ing her what?
Bert: "The human body is a miracle. We have four stomachs, just like our ancestors, the cows."

Kripke: What's happening?
Stuart: You gotta try this.
Kripke: You're kidding?
Stuart: Just try it.
Kripke: [eats] This is the best damn thing I've ever put in my mouth... [with rhotacism] ...and I've put some cwazy shit in my mouth.

Stuart: What are you doing?
Denise: What?
Stuart: You're eating my ficus.
Denise: Oh, look at that. It's really good.
Kripke: Setting aside the fact that "you're eating my ficus" sounds dirty, you're eating his ficus.