Mr. Freeze: Stuart Bloom!
Bert: He's not here.

[As Gary's cab slowly drives off, it is crushed by a giant block of falling ice. Blood spills out from the driver's side window and pools on the road.]
Denise: Oh, my God! Gary!
Bert: He sure does die a lot.

Denise: [gasps] There he is! The Flash!
Stuart: Quick, follow him!
Gary: You want me to follow the Flash?
Stuart: If you wouldn't mind.
Gary: Get out of my cab.
Denise: Nice to see you.

Stuart: All right, uh, where would he hang out? He's in the Justice League. That's in a geosynchronous space station 20,000 miles above the equator.
Gary: Cops gonna make me move.
Stuart: Uh, let me think. Barry Allen, the Flash, works in the crime lab of the Central City Police.
Gary: The Central City Police Department?
Stuart: Yes, thank you.

Kripke: Yeah, "comic books are my superpower." Where we going?
Stuart: Uh, give me a minute.
Gary: [meter dings] Meter's running.
Stuart: Maybe you can help us out. We need to find the Flash.
Gary: Oh, sure. He has an office midtown in between an H&R Block and a Quiznos.
Bert: I believe he's screwing with us.
Kripke: Thank you.
Bert: You're welcome.

[The Adversary fires an energy beam at Trevor, incinerating him, leaving only the comic book and his charred Converse sneakers]
Kyle: Between you and me, I never liked him.
The Adversary: Mr. Freeze.
[A cartoon depiction of Mr. Freeze appears on the Stuart Fails to Save the Universe TRAPPED! comic]
The Adversary: You know what to do.
[The cartoon Mr. Freeze on the comic gives a thumbs up and walks off]
Kyle: So, you gonna stick around? I could order up some Chinese.

Kyle: Oh, whoa, whoa. This is bad.
Trevor: Please don't tell him.
Kyle: I don't need to tell him. He's all-knowing.
[The Adversary, a floating orb of black tendrils and an orange glowing core, appears with a warbling whoosh]
The Adversary: Oh, Trevor.
Kyle: Oh, Trevor.
Trevor: In my defense, you said don't sell it, not don't read it. So...
[The Adversary fires an energy beam at Trevor, incinerating him, leaving only the comic book and his charred Converse sneakers]

Kyle: What?
Trevor: I was reading the comic, and they're not on the cover anymore...
Kyle: You idiot. Where are they?
Trevor: Don't panic. They're flying to Central City. It's kind of boring. Denise has diarrhea.

Kyle: [imitating Batman] I've seen darkness. [imitating Penguin] You've not seen it dark enough.

Kripke: I don't get it. We're in an action-packed comic book. How is sitting for hours in an airport a story?
[A sequence of comic book panels shows the group milling around the departure lounge; Stuart handing Denise a tray of sushi; Denise eating it; her face becoming bloated; and her walking away with her cheeks full, still carrying the tray. Denise then reaches the women's toilets in pain; she searches for a vacant stall; she enters one, with her shoes visible beneath the door. She returns to the group carrying a bottle of Pepto-Bismol, which she consumes as she sits down.]
[Cut to the comic book store, where Trevor holds Stuart Fails to Save the Universe TRAPPED! open to pages showing those same panels.]

Ramona Nowitzki: [over P.A.] All right, folks, I've got good news and bad news. Looks like they cleared up the maintenance issue, but our crew has timed out, so we're gonna have to wait for the backup crew to show up. In the meantime, we're handing out ten-dollar meal vouchers. Pro tip, avoid the airport sushi.
Stuart: You hungry?
Denise: I hate to say it, but now I want sushi.

Kripke: Fascinating. Wet's find an airport.
Stuart: Yeah. This way. You might find this interesting. Gotham's airport is named after DC comic writer Archie Goodwin.
Kripke: I do not find that interesting.

Kripke: [sighs] Okay, where do we wocate Mr. Flash?
Stuart: He's in Central City.
Kripke: And where is that?
Stuart: According to DC canon, roughly around Kansas City.
Kripke: Tewwific. And we are in...
Stuart: We're- We're in New Jersey.
Bert: Gotham City isn't New York?
Denise: No, and guess what? Metropolis is in Delaware.
Bert: No way.
Stuart: Way. Amazing World of DC Comics #14. They're twin cities.

Bert: If we need a superhero, why not just get Superman?
Stuart: So just get Superman? There's no way we can get Superman. He's an A-list character. The Flash, on the other hand, very gettable. He'll open a supermarket.

Stuart: Wait a second. Wait a second. Cosmic Treadmill.
Kripke: Cosmic-what now?
Denise: Brilliant. The Flash. He has the Cosmic Treadmill.
Kripke: At the wisk of sounding wedundant, cosmic-what now?
Denise: Cosmic Treadmill. It allows the Flash to move between universes.
Kripke: Tweadmill? Like at 24 Hour Fitness?
Stuart: No, but yeah.
Kripke: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Stuart: Let's see. Uh... City Hall, Wayne Tower, two miles down that way, Arkham Asylum. We're in Gotham City. Home of... Anyone?
Denise: [in gruff voice] Batman. [chuckles]
Stuart: How can I not love you?
Bert: So what? We just find Batman and he'll get us out of here?
Stuart: Denise.
Denise: [still in gruff voice] Batman won't help you. He's just a rich asshole with dead parents.
Kripke: Yeah, that's only funny once.
Denise: [still in gruff voice] Go fuck yourself.

Stuart: You know what? This is actually great. Whatever put us here made a huge mistake. Who knows more about comic books than Stuart David Bloom?
Bert: Frank Miller? Alan Moore?
Stuart: No one. My sad, miserable childhood has led me to this moment. Comic books are my superpower.

Denise: Meanwhile, we're trapped inside a comic book.
[Denise points to the sky. The four of them look up to see a comic title "Meanwhile..." floating above their heads]

Denise: Oh, thank God. We're out.
Bert: Actually, we're deeper in.
Kripke: Deeper into a comic book?
Bert: Pretty cool, huh?
Kripke: No, not pretty cool. How do we proceed now, my wiege?
Stuart: How's this? You walk that way, we'll walk this way, and hopefully never see each other again.
Kripke: Whoa, where is this hostiwity coming from?

[comic book cover:]
Denise: Where's Bert?
Stuart: Bert, where are you, big guy?
Bert: [o.s.] Page two.
Stuart: What?
Bert: Walk towards the big splash page. Can't miss it.
[Stuart, Denise and Kripke shimmy towards the right-hand side of the comic book, away from the spine]
Stuart: [shoes squeaking] Huh. [grunts] Ow.
Bert: Watch out for staples.