Stuart: Uh... [stammers] Hang on. So... so, roll, run, grab?
Gary: Run, roll, grab.
Stuart: Sorry, more of a visual learner.

Denise: Stuart!
Stuart: Oh, I'm so glad you're okay.
Denise: I'm so glad you're okay. [they hug]
Stuart: Uh, oh, sorry.
Denise: Oh!
Stuart: I'm covered with people.
Raj Koothrappali: [mockingly] Yeah, everybody's okay. Let's go!

Kripke: Stuart?
Stuart: Yeah?
Kripke: You okay?
Stuart: I am, yeah. Thank you for asking.
Bert: I'm okay, too.

Stuart: Who builds a hallway like this?

Stuart: There's something wrong with the door.
[Inside the room, a man plays an accordion and sings "Hello! Ma Baby"]

Bert: Stuart.
Stuart: How'd you get out?
Bert: I didn't. You're very high.
[As Stuart looks back into the room, he sees Porky Pig and the Looney Tunes jingle plays]
Porky Pig: [stammers] That's all folks!

Orderly #1: Hey. How'd you get out here?
Stuart: Oh. [grunts] No! No, you don't understand! I can't stay here!
Bert: None of this is real.
Stuart: I can't stay in this universe!
Bert: None of this is real.
Stuart: [shouting] What's not real?

Stuart: [with puppets] Mom? Dad? There's something I need to get off my chest. [high-pitched] "What is it, honey?" [normally] "Just listen." "And that's why I felt invisible." "No, Dad, you're talking out of turn!"

Stuart: "You have a son named Stuart."
Amy Farrah Fowler: And here's Stuart.
Stuart: "Oh, my goodness! He's come home."

Denise: We just have to make one little stop.
Stuart: For what?
Denise: Oh, you'll see.
Stuart: [chuckles] Big Daddy loves surprises. [both chuckle]
Denise: Oh, yeah.

Stuart: M'kay! Who's ready for a hot dog?
Jaden: I am!
Talia: Me! Me!
Denise: Fresh-squeezed lemonade.
Talia & Jaden: Yay!
Denise: How you doing?
Stuart: Great. I can't believe I thought there was a better universe than this one right here.

Denise: How was your walk?
Stuart: Good.
Denise: What you got there?
Stuart: Uh... bought a comic book.
Denise: Hmm. Since when do you read comic books?
Stuart: People read comic books. [yells] What is with you? [grunts softly] Sorry. That was too loud.

Bert: Guys, this is The Matrix.
Stuart: Yeah, we know.
Bert: No, it's literally a scene from the movie. [electricity crackling]
Stuart: You're right. We're still trapped.
Kripke: Are you sure? It wooks wike we escaped.
Stuart: That's what they want us to think.
Denise: Who is "they"?
Stuart: I don't know. [notices a tear in the fabric of reality] Hang on.

Denise: I think he's asleep.
Stuart: You think he's asleep or he's asleep?
Denise: He's asleep. [Stuart heads towards the hut] I think.
Stuart: What if we just stay in this universe?
Denise: Do you like the outdoor toilets?
[Stuart groans and heads back to the hut]

Stuart: Raj.
Raj Koothrappali: What?
Stuart: What are you doing?
Raj Koothrappali: What does it look like?
Stuart: Mm, to be honest, paranoid schizophrenia.
Raj Koothrappali: [to the crowd] Be right back.

Kripke: All wight, boss man, how do we accomplish this?
Stuart: So the Leonard-Sheldon thingy was never completed. It needs a steering wheel.
Denise: A steering wheel?
Stuart: Not literally, but some kind of control mechanism to get us back to the time and place before everything went to hell.

Stuart: [thinking] "Fee-fi-fo-fum. I smell the blood of an Englishman." Where did that come from?

Stuart: Quick, sing something.
Kripke: [thinking] ♪ Tall and tan and young...♪
Bert & Denise: [joining in] ♪ Young and lovely The girl from Ipanema ♪ ♪ Goes walking and when...♪
Stuart: That's enough.

Both Stuarts: Who are you? I asked first. All right, go ahead.
Bert: This is gonna take a while.
Lab Coat Bert: Yeah.
Stuart: Are you the me that came to me in the comic book store?
Lab Coat Stuart: I thought you were the me that came to me in the comic book store.

Lab Coat Stuart: We don't have time for this. We're on a mission to save the universe.
Stuart: Oh, who isn't?
Lab Coat Stuart: An alternate version of me told me that I'm the only one who can fix things.
Stuart: Well, he lied, 'cause ta-da!
Lab Coat Stuart: We have the device.
Stuart: So do we.