Denise: You know what? Fine. I will have dinner with you.
Kripke: Oh, wonderful. [chuckles]
Denise: You'll have to untie me first. [Kripke looks unsure] A real relationship is built on trust. That has to start now.
Kripke: Okay [chuckles] Ooh, hey, you wike venison?
Denise: Mm.
Kripke: I make it with a cherwy gwaze. The key is low-heat weduction.
[As Kripke frees Denise from the constraints, she immediately starts attacking him]
Denise: You are a stupid, stupid... [Kripke groans] Stupid, stupid, stupid man!

Stuart: [sighs] Oh, boy.
Kripke: Not good.
Bert: Now, try having an argument.
Kripke: What are you talking about? That's gotta be the stupidest-
[Kripke tightens up again and cries out in agony. He tries pointing to the device in the back of his neck but is soon overcome with pain and drops to the floor.

Kripke: So, here's what I'm thinking. We need to go to Caltech and find Weonard and Sheldon.
Stuart: Okay, you do that. I'll try to find Denise.
Kripke: With all due respect... [breathes deeply] ...perhaps we should stick together.
Stuart: And you are entitled to your opinion, but I am in love with this woman, and I have to find her.
Kripke: I understand.
Stuart: Thank you. Hmm.
Kripke: Idiot. [Kripke is zapped again] Shit!

Bert: Hi. Can you help us?
Ramona Nowitzki: Well, I certainly hope so.
Kripke: Great. We are wooking for Dr. Weonard Hofstadter or perhaps Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Ramona Nowitzki: Do you have an appointment?
Kripke: Uh...
Bert: No.
Ramona Nowitzki: Oh, I wish you had an appointment. [continues typing]
Kripke: Can we make one?
Ramona Nowitzki: Of course.
Bert: Then we'd like to make an appointment.
Ramona Nowitzki: I don't make appointments. You'd have to contact their personal assistants. [continues typing]
Kripke: Okay. Mm! And h... how do we get in touch with them?
Ramona Nowitzki: You call them.

Denise: [over intercom] Yes?
Stuart: Denise?
Denise: Who is it?
Stuart: It's Stuart.
Denise: Oh! What a pleasant surprise. Come on in.
[After the door buzzes open, Stuart goes inside]
Denise: Gary, you'll never guess who's here.

Bert: You need to be cool. Got it.
Kripke: Can we start over?
Ramona Nowitzki: By all means.
Kripke: Here's the thing. Weonard Hofstadter and Sheldon Cooper built a vewy special device.
Ramona Nowitzki: Well, if anyone here could build a special device, it's certainly those two.
Kripke: It certainly is. [she chuckles]
Bert: You're doing good.

Denise: To be honest, it's tempting. [chuckles]
Stuart: Really?
Gary: Sure.
Stuart: Sure? But... that... So, you're cool with this?
Gary: Yeah, she can't stand me.
Denise: I can't. [chuckles]
Stuart: Uh, so why stay together?
Denise: Hmm. Well, if I leave, then Gary would be upset.
Gary: Traumatized.
Denise: And we've learned not to upset each other.
Gary: 'Cause it hurts. [points to the device in the back of his neck]
Denise: Ouch.

Stuart: So, wait, you know that she's unhappy and you're fine with it?
Gary: She's only unhappy when she's sober, and that's not very often.
Denise: No, no, I have a little problem with the... [clicks tongue] ...so... [chuckles]
Stuart: [chuckles nervously] Mm-hmm. Okay. What kind of crazy upside-down world is this? Denise, you have the right to be happy! [raises voice] There's no reason to stay with somebody that makes you mis--
[Stuart groans as he is zapped, causing him to fall out of the chair and writhe about on the floor in pain]
Gary: Yeah. [Stuart babbling] Rum and Coke?
Denise: Diet Coke, please.
Gary: Coming up.

Traveler: Anyway, they invented some kind of quantum entanglement thing, and you were there when it malfunctioned.
Bert: Both of us or just him?
Stuart: Doesn't matter!
Bert: It matters to me.

Stuart: Oh, my God, look. Floss.
Bert: Just hurry. It's getting dark.
Stuart: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Excuse me, uh, how much for a foot of floss?
Floss Vendor: Mint or regular?
Stuart: Uh, let me get the regular.
Floss Vendor: Oh.
[As Stuart pays for the floss with a pack of Mac and Cheese, a masked figure with a rifle observes him]
Floss Vendor: Thank you.
Stuart: Oh, yeah, look at that. Can't put a price on healthy gums.

Stuart: Anyway, uh, we gotta go.
Bert: Yeah, Caltech. We're on a quest.
Denise: There's no more Caltech. What's left of it is a death trap.
Bert: We don't have a choice.
Stuart: Yeah, an alternate version of me came from another universe and explained how I can undo the apocalypse.
Bert: It was really cool.
Denise: An alternate version of you?
Bert: Yeah, same pasty face and same whiny voice.
Stuart: It was like looking in a mirror.

Stuart: What do we do? What do we do?
Denise: Uh... Uh... Set the impedance to point seven.
Stuart: [stammers] The what?
Denise: Yeah, right here.
Stuart: Okay, uh...
Denise: Uh, disengage the attenuator.
Stuart: Okay. [stammers] Mm... [device dings] Okay.
Denise: Turn the main release.
Stuart: Done!
Denise: But first...
Stuart: "But first"? What do you mean "but first"?

Denise: Stuart?
Stuart: Denise?
Denise: I thought you were dead.
Stuart: [chuckles] I thought you were dead!
Bert: Aw!

Kripke: I did not care for that woman. Also, I wet myself.
Bert: Lucky you're wearing dark pants.
Kripke: Oh, yeah.

Kyle: Oh, excuse me. I was about to buy that Necronomicon.
Trevor: [scoffs] Get over yourself. You can't handle this level of magic. Uh... here. Alchemy for Dummies. That's more your speed.
Kyle: [scoffs] I'll show you my speed. Sempe faldinide un pera!
[As Kyle waves his wand, a snake emerges from Trevor's mouth and wraps itself around his body]
Denise: Oh, my God. What happened? Where are we?
Trevor: Make it stop! [serpent hisses] Please!
Stuart: Uh... Hang on. Kyle?
Kyle: [chuckles] I wasn't really gonna kill him.
Stuart: Stop!
Kyle: [sighs] Fine. [snake hisses] Dnim reven.

Crowd: [chanting] Burn the scientist! Burn the scientist! Burn the scientist!
Bert: Kripke, help me!
Kripke: [hesitates] Hey, hey, uh, is that weawy necessary?
Keith: Yes.
Kripke: I twied.
Crowd: Burn the scientist! Burn the scientist!
[As Kyle sets fire to the wood piled below Bert, Kripke slowly backs away from the crowd]

Traveler: [sighs] Guys, please! The machine is still at Caltech. Here's what you have to do.
Stuart: Hang on, let me write this down. "Cal..." Oh, shoot! [shakes pen]
Bert: What is shaking it gonna do?
Traveler: Stop talking and listen.
Bert: You know, I might have a Sharpie, excuse me.
Traveler: Listen! When you get to the machine... [garbled speech] Damn it!
Stuart: W... What's happening?
Traveler: I don't know! I'm going through some kind of wormhole! [groans] The important thing is... [garbled speech] And... And when you find him... [garbled speech] And that will fix everything. [The traveler disappears]
Stuart: You get any of that?
Bert: I got the gist.

Bert: What's supposed to happen? [device chirps, hums] Does everything just go back to the way it was?
Raj Koothrappali: Yeah, fingers crossed.
Stuart: That would mean you and I would be together again.
Denise: Slow down, champ. I'm still grieving.
Stuart: Hmm, hmm.

Stuart: Raj, talk to me, buddy!
Raj Koothrappali: [breathes heavily] I'm okay. I'm okay.
[Raj lifts up his long beard and sees the bleeding exit wound on his chest]
Raj Koothrappali: Maybe not.
Stuart: Raj? [Bert and Kripke continue fighting] What do we do? How do we fix the machine?
Raj Koothrappali: Oh, look! It's my grandmother, Ambulu, beckoning me to join her!
Stuart: Ca... Can... Can she wait a minute?
Raj Koothrappali: [groans]
Denise: Apparently not.

Stuart: All I can tell you is that you don't have to live with this AI thing controlling you.
Denise: How?
Stuart: It's a little complicated. I've got this machine back at the store that... it... [hesitates] I- I- I- I- It...
It- You're just gonna have to trust me.
Gary: May I ask a question?
Stuart: Of course. I realize how upsetting this must be for you.
Gary: I'm not upset. Denise, are you upset?
Denise: No, of course not.
Gary: What do you want her to do?
Stuart: Well... Like I said, I want her to leave you and... and come with me.