Denise: So what are we supposed to do?
Stuart: I don't know. Look for a hut in a neighborhood with good schools?
Denise: Oh, God. I forgot about our kids.
Stuart: It's okay. Don't worry about it. They- They- They weren't real. They were projections from a malevolent force keeping us enslaved in a false reality.
Denise: Yeah, but they were ours.
Stuart: Yeah.

Kripke: I suppose it's technically possible for a society to develop Engwish as a wanguage without an Engwand, but it seems unwikewy.
Denise: That's what I said.
Stuart: Guys!
Kripke: Of course, we could be speaking their wanguage and not know it.
Denise: I said that too.
Stuart: Listen to me!
Kripke: [to one of the women in the hot tub] Ooh, not so wough on the tushy.
Stuart: I've been through the whole village. There's one piece of red quartz, and Gavel won't give it up.
Kripke: Ah, I'm not surprised. He's also a very selfish wover.

Stuart: Bert, I'd be very happy to be your best man.
Bert: You don't look happy.
Stuart: What do you want from me? I ran out of Lexapro.

Denise: Oh, my God, I'm trying not to cry. Bert, Chana, you are about to embark on an amazing adventure. You're gonna set sail in a boat made of love. [sighs] And how do we make that boat seaworthy? We build a hull of trust, a mast of compromise, and to it we attach a sail made of dreams.
Stuart: We get it, a boat.

Kripke: I don't know about you guys, but weddings make me horny.

Kripke: I'm just gonna ask it one more time. How were those people speaking Engwish?

Denise: So, what would we do if we stayed here?
Stuart: I would run a comic book store, you'd work with me, Bert would be a geologist, and Kripke'd be an asshole.
Kripke: Mm, asshole's more of a hobby than a vocation. [gags, gulps]

Kripke: So, uh... I guess this is goodbye.
Stuart: I guess so.
Kripke: Listen, I know I haven't been the best twaveling companion.
Denise: And?
Kripke: And what?
Stuart: Goodbye, Kripke.
Kripke: Okay.

Raj Koothrappali: It means there isn't much time before everything we know and love is gone.
Denise: Well, how much time are we talking about?
Raj Koothrappali: Not a lot, guys. Three to four hundred years.
Stuart: Oh, buddy, even if you're right, we'll all be dead. Who cares?
Raj Koothrappali: "Who cares"? I'll tell you who cares. Your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great-grandchildren. Oh, no. One more great.

Bert: Wanna play a game?
Kripke: What?
Bert: You know, pass the time.
Kripke: You're kidding?
Bert: When I was a kid on car trips, my mom and I would play 20 questions.
Kripke: I'm not pwaying 20 questions while we're falling through an endwess void.
Bert: Okay. [whooshing continues]
Kripke: Okay, screw it. I got one.
Bert: Great. Is it something you eat?
Kripke: No.
Bert: I give up.

Stuart Prime: Okay. [clears throat] You know what? I'm gonna explain this as simply as I can. [inhales deeply] Because you are entangled with the primary incident of divergence at a quantum level...
[Denise gags, gulps] [Stuart munches] ...you are inextricably bound to the potential resolution of the fragmentation of the multi-state universe. You get what I'm saying? [Stuart and Denise shake their heads] You're the only one who can save the universe.
Stuart: Yeah, well... [sighs] ...maybe I don't want to.
Stuart Prime: You have to.
Stuart: Is there someone else I can talk to?
Stuart Prime: Like my manager? I'm a projection from a collapsing adjacent reality. Does that sound like someone who has a manager?
Denise: Well, maybe not a manager, but there must've been someone who told you what time to come in today. [Stuart Prime groans]

Stuart: Look. Even if I wanted to save the universe, I don't have the device anymore.
Stuart Prime: So order another one!
Stuart: How can there be another one?
Stuart Prime: How can this conversation be happening?
Stuart: [sighs] You-- You're not listening to me. I'm done with the Leonard/Sheldon thingy and the universe hopping and you! Mostly you.
[As Stuart walks away, Stuart Prime starts to walk after him]
Denise: Don't. Let me talk to you.

Bert: Seventh grade, I had a teacher. Mr. Morinelli. He's the one who inspired me to start a geology club. Uh, it didn't really catch on at first. It was just me and Karen Hartman and Larry O'Malley. He had a twin brother. Can't remember his name. [whooshing] It rhymed with Larry. It was like Barry or Harry.
Kripke: Oh, God, just wet me hit the gwound.
Bert: Gary! Gary O'Malley! That's it. I knew I'd remember it.

Gary: Stuart Bloom?
Stuart: Yes, sir.
Gary: [sighs] You want to sign for this?
Stuart: Gary.
Gary: All day long.
Stuart: Denise, look. It's Gary.
Denise: I see.
Gary: Do I know you guys?
Denise: We were married in another universe. Didn't work out.
Stuart: There's also, uh, another version of you who knew another version of her.
Gary: Uh-huh.
Stuart: But he's dead.
Denise: Mm.
Gary: I hate this job.

Stuart: Okay, guys. Clearly, we're gonna have to control our thoughts in this world.
Kripke: [with rhotacism] Absowutewy.
Denise: Good idea.
Bert: [thinking] This reminds me of a movie. What was the name of that movie?
Stuart: Bert, focus.
Bert: [out loud] Um, sorry. [thinking] It had that girl in it. The one who's married to what's-his-name in real life. Phoebe Cates. Nope, not Phoebe Cates.

Kripke: Too bad Wadioshack went out of business.
Bert: [thinking] [chuckles] "Wadioshack."
Kripke: Hey!
Bert: [out loud] Sorry. It's hard to not think. It's like you tell somebody, don't think of a pink elephant.
All: [overlapping] Pink elephant?
Bert: [thinking] See?

Stuart: I guess she's not a microbiologist in this universe.
Kripke: [thinking] Your observation skills are bweathtaking.
Denise: Barry, really?
Kripke: [out loud] I think 'em wike I see 'em.

Denise: Oh, no. Trevor and Kyle.
Stuart: They died how they lived, reading comics they didn't pay for.
Bert: Rest in peace, fellas.
Kripke: Gweat. We'll send fwowers. Wet's go.

Stuart: All right, here's the plan. Somewhere here are guys who look like us. We find them, we find the machine.
Bert: That's not a plan. That's just restating the premise.

Penny: Captain.
Captain Siebert: Major.
Penny: Are these your traitors?
Captain Siebert: Yes. I mean, they're presumed not to be, but yes.
Kripke: I weawy don't like the way this is going.